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The Thumb strikes back
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7791) - you deserved it (32114)
On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13548) - you deserved it (52566)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31764) - you deserved it (2786)
On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (6791)
On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57426) - you deserved it (4262)
On 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (7191)
On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39644) - you deserved it (3052)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14805) - you deserved it (4722)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70324) - you deserved it (3935)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2900) - you deserved it (28344)
On 12/19/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by Poser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30386) - you deserved it (1788)
On 12/17/2009 at 12:00am - money - by exchange (man) - Ireland (Limerick)
Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15698) - you deserved it (2273)
On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35486) - you deserved it (2489)
On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26700) - you deserved it (3003)
On 10/21/2009 at 9:54am - misc - by TheSublime (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10822) - you deserved it (23013)
On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Monday 20 May 2013
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