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paintedchocolate

Offline (the 01/05/2016 at 10:55pm) | Search for a member

paintedchocolate

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3276
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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paintedchocolate's page activity

Visits<b>meatball4122</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 3:11pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:15pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:15pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:01am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:58pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:39pm<b>drewigi</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:22pm<b>je83185</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:33pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>Furby94</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:28pm<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:50pm<b>KellT</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Gunny20</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:48am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:10am<b>bduggan101</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:24pm<b>MattM95</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:58am<b>byattwain</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:41pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:40am<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 4:07pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:53pm

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paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58314) - you deserved it (5047)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

#20975413
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50799) - you deserved it (4014)

On 11/30/2013 at 12:58am - intimacy - by Thanksalot (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34265) - you deserved it (15976)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44108) - you deserved it (3009)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40534) - you deserved it (6796)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54858) - you deserved it (5735)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41154) - you deserved it (3607)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50720) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46355) - you deserved it (5062)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29227) - you deserved it (42009)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51923) - you deserved it (4722)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML

#20912330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42677) - you deserved it (6809)

On 10/08/2013 at 10:34am - money - by moneymoneymoney (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

#20909114
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49736) - you deserved it (6991)

On 10/06/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML



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