Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

paintedchocolate

Search for a member

paintedchocolate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 850
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

paintedchocolate's last visitors

tralala453PanguslickerstevenJBjfb420hoffmanamluebbe

paintedchocolate's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of paintedchocolate's badges

paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10766) - you deserved it (39139)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18131) - you deserved it (2306) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33315) - you deserved it (9694)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

#19478782
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4489) - you deserved it (24920)

On 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by DJ Clitter (man) - United States

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (2202)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (2941)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (2318)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (2480)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20240) - you deserved it (3048)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22077) - you deserved it (1732)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you deserved it (3984)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (3046)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

#17663031
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (2201)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25270) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: