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paintedchocolate

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paintedchocolate

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1112
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedchocolate's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (3994)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

#19751282
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (2106)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11835) - you deserved it (41190)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (2498) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33568) - you deserved it (9946)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

#19478782
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5290) - you deserved it (27719)

On 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by DJ Clitter (man) - United States

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38993) - you deserved it (2431)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (3787)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25011) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (2557)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21485) - you deserved it (3171)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23002) - you deserved it (4226)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (4074)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

#17663031
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (2368)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)



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