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paintedchocolate

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paintedchocolate

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1720
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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paintedchocolate's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of paintedchocolate's badges

paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

#5751188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13981) - you deserved it (31561)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48563) - you deserved it (3933)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML

#5640699
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (3645)

On 10/04/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by KmartFart - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41487) - you deserved it (16583)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37110) - you deserved it (3452)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59342) - you deserved it (15294)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

#5131831
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25070) - you deserved it (6505)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9177) - you deserved it (36799)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45360) - you deserved it (23209)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60714) - you deserved it (13293)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76023) - you deserved it (6568)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17873) - you deserved it (76161)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45249) - you deserved it (7133)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64723) - you deserved it (5263)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57381) - you deserved it (17229)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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