paintedchocolate

Search for a member

Offline (the 01/05/2016 at 10:55pm)

paintedchocolate

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3682
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

paintedchocolate's page activity

Visits<b>Panguslicker</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 12:40am<b>meatball4122</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 3:11pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:15pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:15pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:01am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:58pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:39pm<b>drewigi</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:22pm<b>je83185</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:33pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>Furby94</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:28pm<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:50pm<b>KellT</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Gunny20</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:48am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:10am<b>bduggan101</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:24pm<b>MattM95</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:58am

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:40am<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 4:07pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:53pm

paintedchocolate's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of paintedchocolate's badges

paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

by seethroughpee / 05/06/2015 at 1:22am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 1:58am / Finland / Work

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

by mademoiselle meurtre / 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2015 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

by cactii / 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

by mybfthecrossdresser / 01/20/2015 at 10:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

by pitytitty / 01/09/2015 at 4:11am / United States (California) / Love

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2015 at 11:40am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

by cat co-parent / 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm / Australia / Animals

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

by allykat / 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals