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paintedchocolate

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paintedchocolate

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1435
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedchocolate's page activity

Visits<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>annmarie_124</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:36am<b>tralala453</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 9:09pm<b>foxychik10704</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 9:45pm<b>Panguslicker</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 1:03am<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 11:20am<b>jfb420</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 4:10pm<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 3:25pm<b>luebbe</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 11:54pm<b>BlendedSupreme</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm<b>magicmarco</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 12:03pm<b>zango1</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 8:10am

paintedchocolate's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of paintedchocolate's badges

paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (14388)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41942) - you deserved it (11677)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (2613)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50631) - you deserved it (9735)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (64311)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33906) - you deserved it (11821)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40921) - you deserved it (9716)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37868) - you deserved it (10065)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (14723)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40652) - you deserved it (2731)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland



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