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paintbullits's favorite FMLs
Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML
by ColoradoGirl420 / 03/24/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by Lois / 02/09/2013 at 7:00am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy
Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML
by LonelyBoy / 03/16/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
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