About ozzy13 : huge ozzy fan and computer addict xD
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (15522)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29933) - you deserved it (43726)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (2996)
On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (5939)
On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24989) - you deserved it (3911)
On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -
Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14869) - you deserved it (33239)
On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41264) - you deserved it (7482)
On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24227) - you deserved it (4038)
On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30084) - you deserved it (2504)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (3408)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33710) - you deserved it (2511)
On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53013) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46722) - you deserved it (12011)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (5411)
On 08/08/2009 at 7:59pm - misc - by acorn (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33786) - you deserved it (28094)
On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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