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ozzy13

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ozzy13
  • Town/Country : Denver, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 August 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 163
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About ozzy13 : huge ozzy fan and computer addict xD

ozzy13's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of ozzy13's badges

ozzy13's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (19668)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (47497)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36260) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

#15029683
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31142) - you deserved it (7292)

On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28330) - you deserved it (4803)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

#14796617
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16879) - you deserved it (36426)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43260) - you deserved it (7642)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (4352)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34620) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (4296)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38139) - you deserved it (3233)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49768) - you deserved it (12918)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML

#4391882
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36266) - you deserved it (5473)

On 08/08/2009 at 7:59pm - misc - by acorn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37969) - you deserved it (34994)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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