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oxley642

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oxley642
  • Town/Country : Middletown, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 399
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About oxley642 : Message me if you'd like

oxley642's last visitors

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oxley642's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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oxley642's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31987) - you deserved it (1528)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

#20023182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18959) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

#19997949
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23834) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/02/2012 at 4:11am - love - by Kelly - United States (California)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10284) - you deserved it (37375)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML

#16947329
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38192) - you deserved it (6975)

On 07/02/2011 at 10:06am - love - by fthislyfe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52819) - you deserved it (26716)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25927) - you deserved it (5397)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML

#14515582
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (6575)

On 01/09/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

#14186917
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8210) - you deserved it (22377)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by wtfson -

Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone but me. Then, one of them said: "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML

#13998469
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33867) - you deserved it (3105)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

#13823164
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18050) - you deserved it (13714)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11977) - you deserved it (32084)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said "Ok, now I can just block every message from you." And walked away from me. FML

#5328809
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40822) - you deserved it (3825)

On 09/18/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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