Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ovechkinisbeast

Search for a member

ovechkinisbeast

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 583
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About ovechkinisbeast : hi

ovechkinisbeast's page activity

Visits<b>BananaN0se</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:51pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 9:57pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 5:05pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 3:17am<b>notforbirds</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 12:43am<b>Lilsbills</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 1:07pm<b>NeinKittenz</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 4:23pm<b>humnahey</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:22am<b>PlaySpades</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 7:31am<b>gateface970</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 3:44am<b>cman1322</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 2:17am<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 11:00pm<b>KALOOS</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 10:53pm<b>perdix</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 10:02pm<b>alyssawatters</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 3:56am<b>AssortedPuddles</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 6:37pm<b>aguywithapanda</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 3:31pm<b>not_a_robot</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:08pm

ovechkinisbeast's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of ovechkinisbeast's badges

ovechkinisbeast's favorite FMLs

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45026) - you deserved it (7837)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9886) - you deserved it (67168)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32450) - you deserved it (6557)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (2672)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59187) - you deserved it (10094)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML

#16057186
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24319) - you deserved it (27643)

On 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49497) - you deserved it (8052)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

#15239468
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38722) - you deserved it (2917)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:21am - money - by MommyLovesMe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68553) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

#14160677
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34721) - you deserved it (2321)

On 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

#6067207
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37934) - you deserved it (3419)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:45am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31589) - you deserved it (296132)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
682 comments

I agree, your life sucks (696071) - you deserved it (55852)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: