ovechkinisbeast

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ovechkinisbeast

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 966
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About ovechkinisbeast : hi

ovechkinisbeast's page activity

Visits<b>Metashock</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 8:59pm<b>BananaN0se</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:51pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 9:57pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 5:05pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 3:17am<b>notforbirds</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 12:43am<b>Lilsbills</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 1:07pm<b>NeinKittenz</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 4:23pm<b>humnahey</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:22am<b>PlaySpades</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 7:31am<b>gateface970</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 3:44am<b>cman1322</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 2:17am<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 11:00pm<b>KALOOS</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 10:53pm<b>perdix</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 10:02pm<b>alyssawatters</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 3:56am<b>AssortedPuddles</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 6:37pm<b>aguywithapanda</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 3:31pm

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ovechkinisbeast's favorite FMLs

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

by easteryegg / 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

by FML / 07/29/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

by kelsjenks / 07/27/2011 at 9:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML

by Blondie / 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Health

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

by MommyLovesMe / 03/08/2011 at 10:21am / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

by anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids