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ovechkinisbeast's favorite FMLs
Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML
by easteryegg / 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by FML / 07/29/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by kelsjenks / 07/27/2011 at 9:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
by Blondie / 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals
by MommyLovesMe / 03/08/2011 at 10:21am / United States (Georgia) / Money
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids
- Today, I decided to buy some vitamin E oil for my sunburn. Little did I know that two minutes after… Today, after months of hard training to reach my athletic goals and to help with body image issues,… Today, my dad brought in fresh strawberries he picked from his garden in our backyard. They tasted…