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outoftown

Offline (the 12/03/2015 at 7:15am) | Search for a member

outoftown

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8703
  • Number of comments : 1580
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!

outoftown's page activity

Visits<b>PVXCRunner15</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:22pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:15pm<b>winchester818</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>idefka</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:08am<b>yank3321</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 9:45pm<b>Dman1791</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:03am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 12:43am<b>PadfootLovesPie</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:31pm<b>anonymuse</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:31pm<b>creeperdevon</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:13pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:08am<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:36pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 3:05am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:24pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:15pm<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:42am

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:39am<b>Blackadder</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 12:05pm

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outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55383) - you deserved it (12586)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52539) - you deserved it (4727)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55438) - you deserved it (6937)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49390) - you deserved it (5277)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50916) - you deserved it (5376)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52620) - you deserved it (5086)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46801) - you deserved it (4883)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54979) - you deserved it (7308)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

#21017302
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48159) - you deserved it (4936)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by scotsgal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39684) - you deserved it (12890)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54879) - you deserved it (4506)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

#21013669
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51401) - you deserved it (8067)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40459) - you deserved it (9144)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45578) - you deserved it (6586)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44001) - you deserved it (4204)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)



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