Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 09/28/2015 at 3:30am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8404
  • Number of comments : 1580
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!

outoftown's page activity

Visits<b>idefka</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:08am<b>yank3321</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 9:45pm<b>Dman1791</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:03am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 12:43am<b>PadfootLovesPie</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:31pm<b>anonymuse</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:31pm<b>creeperdevon</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:13pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:08am<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:36pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 3:05am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:24pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:15pm<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:42am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:07pm<b>bardo264</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:12pm<b>christinamarie17</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:07am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:44pm

Fucked!<b>Blackadder</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 12:05pm

outoftown's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of outoftown's badges

outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40780) - you deserved it (5861)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first job interview after three years of unemployment. I was so happy that I broke down into tears the moment I saw the interviewer. Great first impression. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40470) - you deserved it (6283)

On 03/10/2014 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39857) - you deserved it (3730)

On 03/08/2014 at 12:19pm - work - by kittykat033 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

Today, my driver's-side door was so frozen that the locking mechanism wouldn't move. My passenger-side door's lock worked, but the door itself wouldn't budge. The door handle on the other hand, budged quite well. It budged right off its hinges. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37192) - you deserved it (3633)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:25am - misc - by Staying Home Today (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44455) - you deserved it (4715)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37538) - you deserved it (8558)

On 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AlwaysAwkward - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43498) - you deserved it (9878)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my cat pissed all over my work clothes. They weren't even on the floor, she knocked the hanger down just so she could use them as a toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (4679)

On 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm - animals - by baxeh - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out that the little arrow next to my gas gauge actually points to the side of the car where the tank is. For the past year-and-a-half I've been sticking my head out the window and even calling my parents to ask which side it was on, because I can never remember. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17541) - you deserved it (48963)

On 02/26/2014 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40618) - you deserved it (15870)

On 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35324) - you deserved it (3976)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:20am - animals - by tornkhakis - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44796) - you deserved it (4189)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: