About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!
About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
outoftown's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
outoftown's favorite FMLs
by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health
by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard / 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm / United States / Love
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML
by mcdonalds / 08/06/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Health
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 10:31am / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Work
by dareyale / 07/26/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML
by Iamdisappointed / 07/24/2013 at 7:50am / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML
by alyssuhh526 / 07/17/2013 at 5:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML
by shouldbehappyiguess / 07/11/2013 at 2:20am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML
by LadyFahrenheit / 07/09/2013 at 8:14pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to marry me. 20 minutes later he said "never mind, I want to… Today, I was sitting on the bleachers at school in the shade alone. I saw two girls approaching me… Today,after being single for close to 8 years I asked a girl out I have known for a few months. She…