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Offline (the 04/21/2016 at 11:16pm)

outoftown

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9122
  • Number of comments : 1581
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!

outoftown's page activity

Visits<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:36pm<b>NYM88</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 6:32am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:31pm<b>k_cummins</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 3:34am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 4:06pm<b>Thepicheese</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:29am<b>raven83</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:45pm<b>PVXCRunner15</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:15pm<b>winchester818</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>idefka</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:08am<b>yank3321</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 9:45pm<b>Dman1791</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:03am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 12:43am<b>PadfootLovesPie</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:31pm<b>anonymuse</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:31pm<b>creeperdevon</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:13pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:08am

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:39am<b>Blackadder</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 12:05pm

outoftown's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

by I am not amused! / 11/03/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

by Argh / 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

by KittyKat / 11/03/2013 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Kids

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

by nl4 / 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

by Dor51 / 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 9:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

by overly nationalistic redneck / 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

by Quasimodo / 10/18/2013 at 8:40am / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

by lovehurts / 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous