Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

outoftown

Search for a member

outoftown
  • Town/Country : Elsewhere, US
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1157
  • Number of comments : 1208
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Profile pic: Warren Zevon said it best.

outoftown's last visitors

Domo17lndalasapphiregirlyLouis1992SevanaRatchetBudderchookNoDontKillMeGrinchFu1SillyGirl4602

outoftown's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of outoftown's badges

outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31875) - you deserved it (2593)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34322) - you deserved it (16688)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41107) - you deserved it (2825)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34977) - you deserved it (15526)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm from eagerly scratching off a lottery ticket. No, I didn't win anything. FML

#20576976
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (11066)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:59am - health - by Kotoko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31953) - you deserved it (1637)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (2260)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17214) - you deserved it (5226)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (3030)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (2071)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27962) - you deserved it (4690)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41706) - you deserved it (2383)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you deserved it (2261)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46511) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML

#20521204
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29846) - you deserved it (4861)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: