About ottokat : I live in Chicago, IL and I've got two huge dogs. It lies when it says I've never submitted FMLs. It speaks the truth when it says 0 published. My profile image used to be of Obama with a violin: Baroque Obama. Heh heh heh. I love lions, the color green and unusual pens. I have a very special person in my life right now. They are everything I look for in a partner, and more. Their name is ottokat here on FML. If you see them, like their comments.Follow me on Tumblr if you're SuperWhoLock/Harry Potter oriented."castielmyspell"
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ottokat's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 10:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous
by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 1:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm / Isle of Man / Geek
Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML
by icegirl38 / 03/03/2010 at 10:09am / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Health
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- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you…