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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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osellr

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osellr
  • Town/Country : chaska, mn, US of A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 346
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (24326) - you deserved it (382)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087 (430)

I agree, your life sucks (5933) - you deserved it (41644)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (11903) - you deserved it (3389)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (11502) - you deserved it (1984)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (3949)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

#6900019 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (5664)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:30am - health - by SnowyConcussion (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (42479) - you deserved it (6056)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FML

#4076767 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (17809)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:49am - love - by not-that-fat (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (16748) - you deserved it (39911)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

#4052312 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (6861) - you deserved it (58679)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was mowing lawns for my summer job. I noticed next to me a shiny new corvette being washed by the owner. I gave a friendly wave, just as I heard a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. FML

#4046446 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (37601) - you deserved it (3160)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by ferrin10 - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81744) - you deserved it (24053)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (19556)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

#3956685 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (37008) - you deserved it (3735)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada