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orphinz

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orphinz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1019
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About orphinz : Hi-5!

orphinz's page activity

Visits<b>GeorgetheOreo</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:46am<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:58pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:09am<b>jarrettd</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:25am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:57am<b>NicciJ87</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 2:30am<b>UnknownDemon1406</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 12:13am<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 5:24pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 5:21pm<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 2:26pm<b>melons</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:39pm<b>ItsMeDiegoG</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:31pm<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:22pm<b>fooska</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 7:55pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 12:27pm<b>i_love_ifunny</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 12:26am<b>rick1</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 11:35pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 1:41pm

orphinz's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

orphinz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43970) - you deserved it (8698)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the bus, it hit a bump on the road and made me hit a elderly man. The bus driver thought I did it on purpose and made me get off. FML

#15147269
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (2651)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:00am - misc - by Parade (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30915) - you deserved it (5078)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

#14969181
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28640) - you deserved it (2777)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:11am - misc - by TheKingDavis (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

#14908129
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30130) - you deserved it (7063)

On 02/09/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by PrestonW -

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

#14186917
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10445) - you deserved it (30476)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by wtfson -

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

#13746005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (2372)

On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don't even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I'm 15. He's six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML

#13455982
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (8731)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:33am - misc - by fmlforreal - Singapore

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

#13317207
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22149) - you deserved it (47015)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend woke up to the flash of a camera. It was his mother taking pictures of my shoe print on his window sill and night stand. She said she was collecting evidence proving I snuck in through his window last night. FML

#12321960
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (8761)

On 08/05/2010 at 12:38am - misc - by AmNot (woman) - United States

Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML

#10624729
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (4421)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:00am - love - by likesboys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18004) - you deserved it (7158)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52190) - you deserved it (3764)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50617) - you deserved it (2578)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going out with my supermodel-gorgeous friend, so I put extra effort into looking good. I thought I looked pretty good, but when we got to the station, a drunk old man looked at us and loudly announced "That's always the way it is, there's a fit one and an ugly one". FML

#7316718
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29045) - you deserved it (3027)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:06am - love - by uglyone (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



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