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orphinz

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orphinz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 899
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About orphinz : Hi-5!

orphinz's page activity

Visits<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:58pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:09am<b>jarrettd</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:25am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:57am<b>NicciJ87</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 2:30am<b>UnknownDemon1406</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 12:13am<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 5:24pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 5:21pm<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 2:26pm<b>melons</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:39pm<b>ItsMeDiegoG</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:31pm<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:22pm<b>fooska</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 7:55pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 12:27pm<b>i_love_ifunny</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 12:26am<b>rick1</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 11:35pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 1:41pm<b>SomeRandomGuy15</b> - the 02/06/2012 at 5:59pm

orphinz's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

orphinz's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

#20506765
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34065) - you deserved it (2117)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26598) - you deserved it (3584)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

#20422230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10131) - you deserved it (31127)

On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

#20127937
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (1532)

On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28505) - you deserved it (1493)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46748) - you deserved it (1913)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

#19990099
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9575) - you deserved it (24611)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12706) - you deserved it (23026)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14580) - you deserved it (39133)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6368) - you deserved it (48194)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

#18346585
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34007) - you deserved it (7135)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by 14YearOld (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (9024)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, six years after hurricane Katrina took everything from me, I received a letter in the mail from FEMA telling me that I have to repay them the money I received to replace what was lost. I have 30 days to repay $4,900 or the case will be sent into federal debt collection. FML

#17788058
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43413) - you deserved it (3646)

On 09/20/2011 at 1:53pm - money - by fiendishkitty - United States (Texas)

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

#17443433
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35910) - you deserved it (2300)

On 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41100) - you deserved it (2976)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States



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