oranjeguice

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oranjeguice

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3790
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oranjeguice :

I ride unicycles.

oranjeguice's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 6:51am<b>mckenz1eq</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 11:55am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:21pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 12:50pm<b>mckenz1eq</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 5:55pm

oranjeguice's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

oranjeguice's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

by EyeSeeYou / 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend started a conversation with "I don't want to break up" and ended the conversation with "I think I'd be better off alone." So I guess I'm now single. I think. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 7:05am / Canada / Love

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML

by Monkeyless / 05/01/2012 at 11:59pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Animals

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

by rolyat / 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML

by tandc / 05/01/2012 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML

by HighasaCloud / 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML

by HighasaCloud / 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML

by Matt / 04/28/2012 at 2:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy