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oranjeguice

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oranjeguice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 November 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2107
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oranjeguice :

I ride unicycles.

oranjeguice's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

oranjeguice's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML

#19588990
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35546) - you deserved it (3862)

On 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by coffeeshopgirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

#19584469
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (4692)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (31768)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17350) - you deserved it (29710)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

#19577163
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (3942)

On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

#19576269
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (2081)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35622) - you deserved it (2291) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up, except my fiancé. FML

#19575941
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43822) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

#19574398
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18155) - you deserved it (2230)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm - love - by AnonymousUser (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29097) - you deserved it (3010)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML

#19573313
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (4308)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm - love - by john (man) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

#19572629
267 comments

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13135) - you deserved it (41291)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (1914)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)



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