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oranjeguice

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oranjeguice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 November 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2308
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oranjeguice :

I ride unicycles.

oranjeguice's FML badges

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oranjeguice's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19706) - you deserved it (61117)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14265) - you deserved it (66447)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

#131140
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (3872)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:42am - love - by laf@me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML

#123321
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13089) - you deserved it (44646)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by lifesucks (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML

#59427
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48772) - you deserved it (12010)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:10am - intimacy - by pixie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43387) - you deserved it (9524)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

#26936
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41642) - you deserved it (2522)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by chee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30527) - you deserved it (3237)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

#8288
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35835) - you deserved it (7762)

On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

#5939
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (11146)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

#4487
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28731) - you deserved it (1472)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by leez - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24915) - you deserved it (2708)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

#3797
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17907) - you deserved it (4285)

On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (3095)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4543) - you deserved it (35614)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)



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