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oranjeguice

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oranjeguice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 November 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2588
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oranjeguice :

I ride unicycles.

oranjeguice's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

oranjeguice's favorite FMLs

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14332) - you deserved it (66625)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

#131140
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39802) - you deserved it (3885)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:42am - love - by laf@me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML

#123321
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13142) - you deserved it (44766)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by lifesucks (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML

#59427
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48920) - you deserved it (12053)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:10am - intimacy - by pixie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44684) - you deserved it (9731)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

#26936
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41806) - you deserved it (2526)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by chee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30667) - you deserved it (3249)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

#8288
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36039) - you deserved it (7784)

On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

#5939
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30643) - you deserved it (11193)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

#4487
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30014) - you deserved it (1557)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by leez - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (2802)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

#3797
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (4303)

On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4859) - you deserved it (37093)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

#2426
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6822) - you deserved it (28429)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:07am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)



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