About oranjeguice :
I ride unicycles.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66552) - you deserved it (3984)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:09am - intimacy - by Yulia (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (50746)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)
Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11468) - you deserved it (55681)
On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I forgot my work clothes at home so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33428) - you deserved it (3347)
On 02/25/2009 at 2:42am - love - by laf@me (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10183) - you deserved it (36436)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by lifesucks (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42543) - you deserved it (9697)
On 02/17/2009 at 3:10am - intimacy - by pixie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (8049)
On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)
Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34856) - you deserved it (1847)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by chee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25011) - you deserved it (2548)
On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29482) - you deserved it (6353)
On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23710) - you deserved it (8219)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (901)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by leez - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18149) - you deserved it (1894)
On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML
I agree, your life sucks (12798) - you deserved it (3156)
On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17559) - you deserved it (2034)
On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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