About oranjeguice :
I ride unicycles.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106716) - you deserved it (7120)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11732) - you deserved it (56763)
On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (96484)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124110) - you deserved it (9394)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12499) - you deserved it (76686)
On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58156) - you deserved it (24609)
On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105586) - you deserved it (14906)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61736) - you deserved it (5674)
On 03/19/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Ineverknew (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (277377) - you deserved it (21817)
On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (85801) - you deserved it (36519)
On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43659) - you deserved it (30171)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by textraped (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (148795) - you deserved it (20736)
On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent 5 hours preparing dinner for my finace's grandparents, whom I've never met. At dinner, his grandmother says to him "If you're going to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with, at least make sure she can cook." I'm the executive chef at a 4 star restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78298) - you deserved it (3784)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by chefdujour (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12788) - you deserved it (89050)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10381) - you deserved it (57532)
On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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