About oranjeguice :
I ride unicycles.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52395) - you deserved it (4528)
On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9201) - you deserved it (32657)
On 05/22/2009 at 8:09am - work - by bigblue51 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46913) - you deserved it (2723)
On 05/21/2009 at 4:06am - animals - by georgia819 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63477) - you deserved it (2616)
On 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by KarlwithaK (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7511) - you deserved it (36991)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22085) - you deserved it (59279)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went to go visit my beloved husband in the hospital. As I went past the nurses station, I heard them talking about the "bastard in Room 303." I went on to visit my husband in room 303. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40245) - you deserved it (601)
On 05/10/2009 at 1:38am - health - by LadyLuck (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (206962) - you deserved it (10106)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6207) - you deserved it (50643)
On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14642) - you deserved it (32756)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10569) - you deserved it (46747)
On 04/28/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by owned (woman) - Singapore
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (6887)
On 04/27/2009 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44510) - you deserved it (18333)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8873) - you deserved it (88949)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (548060) - you deserved it (35288)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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