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oranjeguice

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oranjeguice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 November 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2222
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oranjeguice :

I ride unicycles.

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oranjeguice's favorite FMLs

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (1698)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)

Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML

#19755806
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (3436)

On 06/08/2012 at 3:45pm - misc - by hackshack (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (4910)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (8210)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an admissions interview at my dream college. I spent hours practicing questions and picking the perfect outfit. It was not until after the interview that I realized I'd scratched a pimple while waiting, and my forehead had been smeared with blood the entire time. FML

#19750002
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27298) - you deserved it (3700)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

#19748854
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18085) - you deserved it (4007)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:17am - work - by Swivel - Singapore

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25861) - you deserved it (3222)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13848) - you deserved it (37115)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35758) - you deserved it (5827)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

#19739013
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (5859)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML

#19737543
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20176) - you deserved it (5918)

On 06/05/2012 at 7:56am - work - by whattdafuuukkkk (woman) - United States

Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML

#19728226
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (2565)

On 06/03/2012 at 6:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

#19727538
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (9950)

On 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

#19722662
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24370) - you deserved it (2704)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by must.not.itch. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

#19720821
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19807) - you deserved it (13140)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)



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