oranjeguice

Search for a member

oranjeguice

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4196
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oranjeguice :

I ride unicycles.

oranjeguice's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 6:51am<b>mckenz1eq</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 11:55am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:21pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 12:50pm<b>mckenz1eq</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 5:55pm

oranjeguice's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

oranjeguice's favorite FMLs

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

by Catherine / 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Money

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

by eddie818 / 06/10/2012 at 3:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 2:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

by Anon / 06/10/2012 at 12:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

by rachiej8 / 06/10/2012 at 12:13am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

by rachiej8 / 06/10/2012 at 12:13am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

by jeremyj / 06/09/2012 at 8:24pm / United States / Work

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

by UnluckyGroom / 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

by k / 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Transportation

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

by cock sauce / 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm / Switzerland (Luzern) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

by WTF / 06/09/2012 at 9:54am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2012 at 12:51am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

by SprinklerDodger / 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love