Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

optimusprime0069

Search for a member

optimusprime0069

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1675
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About optimusprime0069 : Hello, im from canada..... Eh
Im a nice guy, message me and ill message back!

optimusprime0069's page activity

Visits<b>The_Blonde_Fox</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:15pm<b>clair1357</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:08pm<b>cwrocker</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:51am<b>WhiskeyBeard</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:43am<b>Eminemerica</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:35am<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:32pm<b>mwhahahahahaha</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Allusivness</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:39am<b>jjjoey4</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 8:44am<b>Beanu</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:23am<b>lefartface</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:56pm<b>badluckbrianirl</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 8:54pm<b>PurelyCanadian</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:45am<b>Yaseen7</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 6:25pm<b>agent4442</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 9:47pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:30pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 4:40am<b>mrlawlor777</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:06pm

optimusprime0069's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of optimusprime0069's badges

optimusprime0069's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

#17622359
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27074) - you deserved it (2534)

On 08/30/2011 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

#17597780
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27567) - you deserved it (2616)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13863) - you deserved it (43285)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after spending 6 months and $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year old son's request, his abusive, alcoholic father no longer has any legal right to see him. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live with his father the very first time I told him he couldn't have friends sleep over. FML

#17057009
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42413) - you deserved it (7113)

On 07/10/2011 at 8:01pm - kids - by tomcat69 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

#16687170
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (9206)

On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

#16635570
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10006) - you deserved it (41039)

On 06/12/2011 at 10:50pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

#16410234
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31093) - you deserved it (3361)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by kerdersty - Canada

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (3078)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my car ran out of gas. I was 20 feet away from the gas pump and the only person I could ask for help was the attendant, who'd asked me out a week ago. I'd said no, and so did he. FML

#16249846
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (14531)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:46am - misc - by stranded (woman) - United States

Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML

#16050622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (3204)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm - health - by ouchies - United States

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

#15970719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (16777)

On 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38419) - you deserved it (3033)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33944) - you deserved it (4018)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33944) - you deserved it (4018)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

#14291054
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (2313)

On 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: