optimusprime0069

Search for a member

optimusprime0069

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2030
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About optimusprime0069 : Hello, im from canada..... Eh
Im a nice guy, message me and ill message back!

optimusprime0069's page activity

Visits<b>kyuuubbbiii</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:54pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 4:33pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 2:02pm<b>Dryaxor</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 1:36am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:07am<b>R3G3N</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 11:09am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:48am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 11:28am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 4:34pm<b>lolszilla</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:00am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:36am<b>Sharpshooterisle</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:44pm<b>TashaGayle33</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:25pm<b>Sapirio</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:23am<b>Zatert</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:01pm<b>moophasa</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:06pm<b>Badminer</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:31am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:47am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:09pm

optimusprime0069's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of optimusprime0069's badges

optimusprime0069's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 4:56pm / United States / Love

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

by Revalation / 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

by ohmygosh / 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, after spending 6 months and $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year old son's request, his abusive, alcoholic father no longer has any legal right to see him. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live with his father the very first time I told him he couldn't have friends sleep over. FML

by tomcat69 / 07/10/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

by randomjulz / 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

by Shelly / 06/12/2011 at 10:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

by kerdersty / 05/29/2011 at 11:27pm / Canada / Health

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car ran out of gas. I was 20 feet away from the gas pump and the only person I could ask for help was the attendant, who'd asked me out a week ago. I'd said no, and so did he. FML

by stranded / 05/19/2011 at 7:46am / United States / Transportation

Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML

by ouchies / 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm / United States / Health

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

by elfy2 / 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm / Kids

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

by Worstjob / 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

by Worstjob / 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous