optimusprime0069

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optimusprime0069

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2073
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About optimusprime0069 : Hello, im from canada..... Eh
Im a nice guy, message me and ill message back!

optimusprime0069's page activity

Visits<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:16pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 7:16pm<b>kyuuubbbiii</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:54pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 4:33pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 2:02pm<b>Dryaxor</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 1:36am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:07am<b>R3G3N</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 11:09am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 11:28am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 4:34pm<b>lolszilla</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:00am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:36am<b>Sharpshooterisle</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:44pm<b>TashaGayle33</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:25pm<b>Sapirio</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:23am<b>Zatert</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:01pm<b>moophasa</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:06pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:47am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:09pm

optimusprime0069's FML badges

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optimusprime0069's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2011 at 6:07am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2011 at 6:07am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 7:37am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 7:37am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

by spoiled22 / 10/12/2011 at 3:17am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

by pixiebubz / 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm / Australia / Health

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

by nooooooooob / 10/05/2011 at 4:59am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to choose between staying with my boyfriend and moving out to a better job. I chose my boyfriend. He promptly left me because I didn't take the job. FML

by dilligaf / 09/27/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I had to choose between staying with my boyfriend and moving out to a better job. I chose my boyfriend. He promptly left me because I didn't take the job. FML

by dilligaf / 09/27/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

by funnymanjoe / 09/14/2011 at 7:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML

by ol faithful / 09/03/2011 at 5:24am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous