Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

optimusprime0069

Search for a member

optimusprime0069

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1760
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About optimusprime0069 : Hello, im from canada..... Eh
Im a nice guy, message me and ill message back!

optimusprime0069's page activity

Visits<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:27pm<b>The_Blonde_Fox</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:15pm<b>clair1357</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:08pm<b>cwrocker</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:51am<b>WhiskeyBeard</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:43am<b>Eminemerica</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:35am<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:32pm<b>mwhahahahahaha</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Allusivness</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:39am<b>jjjoey4</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 8:44am<b>Beanu</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:23am<b>lefartface</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:56pm<b>badluckbrianirl</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 8:54pm<b>PurelyCanadian</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:45am<b>Yaseen7</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 6:25pm<b>agent4442</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 9:47pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:30pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 4:40am

optimusprime0069's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of optimusprime0069's badges

optimusprime0069's favorite FMLs

Today, mah boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed an spray mehile singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (4586)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

TODAY... I FINALLY GATHERED UP THE GUTS TO SAY HI TO THE GIRL I LIKE. AS I WAS WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY... I SAW HER AN WAVED HELLO... ONLY TO WALK INTO A BATHROOM DOOR. FML

#18061618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27759) - you deserved it (5584)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:07am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

TODAY... I FINALLY GATHERED UP THE GUTS TO SAY HI TO THE GIRL I LIKE. AS I WAS WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY... I SAW HER AN WAVED HELLO... ONLY TO WALK INTO A BATHROOM DOOR. FML

#18061618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27759) - you deserved it (5584)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:07am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

TODAY... I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA TO TELL MY CO-WORKER TO CALM DOWN WHEN HE APPEARED TO BE VERY UPTIGHT. HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA TO PUNCH ME RIGHT IN THE FACE. FML

#18037423
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (11727)

On 10/21/2011 at 7:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

TODAY... I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA TO TELL MY CO-WORKER TO CALM DOWN WHEN HE APPEARED TO BE VERY UPTIGHT. HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA TO PUNCH ME RIGHT IN THE FACE. FML

#18037423
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (11727)

On 10/21/2011 at 7:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

after having had sex with mah girlfriend 4 the first time the night before... she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51321) - you deserved it (8064)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of mah automatic room freshener. As I held it to mah face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on mah face. FML

#17965758
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9840) - you deserved it (24629)

On 10/12/2011 at 3:17am - misc - by spoiled22 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I told mah boyfriend I had an appointment 4 laser hair removal. He respondd by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot mah underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13071) - you deserved it (25442)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia

Yesterday, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

#17909794
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6475) - you deserved it (30200)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by nooooooooob - United States (Nevada)

Today , I had to choose between staying with mah boyfriend and moving out to a better job . I chose mah boyfriend . He promptly left me because I didn't take the job . FML

#17845404
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (16834)

On 09/27/2011 at 2:22am - love - by dilligaf - United States (Virginia)

Today , I had to choose between staying with mah boyfriend and moving out to a better job . I chose mah boyfriend . He promptly left me because I didn't take the job . FML

#17845404
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (16834)

On 09/27/2011 at 2:22am - love - by dilligaf - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked into mah dorm to fine mah roommate an his friends using mah bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31859) - you deserved it (5203)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I apologized to the cat 4 walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box . mega FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23675) - you deserved it (9450)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to mah favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nereing the end of mah burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in mah car. FML

#17697276
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (7059)

On 09/08/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me bieng a slow drinker, so I trid to impress her by chugging the rest of mah glass. She was impressd with how fast I chuggd mah beer, until it cummd back up. FML

#17651078
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (38224)

On 09/03/2011 at 5:24am - misc - by ol faithful (man) - Canada (Quebec)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: