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optimusprime0069

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optimusprime0069
  • Town/Country : uranus ;), Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1468
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About optimusprime0069 : Hello, im from canada..... Eh
Im a nice guy, message me and ill message back!

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optimusprime0069's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (4228)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML

#18061618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (4959)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:07am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML

#18061618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (4959)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:07am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

#18037423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18941) - you deserved it (10873)

On 10/21/2011 at 7:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

#18037423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18941) - you deserved it (10873)

On 10/21/2011 at 7:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43687) - you deserved it (6108)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

#17965758
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8813) - you deserved it (22257)

On 10/12/2011 at 3:17am - misc - by spoiled22 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11968) - you deserved it (24129)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

#17909794
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5769) - you deserved it (27998)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by nooooooooob - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to choose between staying with my boyfriend and moving out to a better job. I chose my boyfriend. He promptly left me because I didn't take the job. FML

#17845404
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (15668)

On 09/27/2011 at 2:22am - love - by dilligaf - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to choose between staying with my boyfriend and moving out to a better job. I chose my boyfriend. He promptly left me because I didn't take the job. FML

#17845404
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (15668)

On 09/27/2011 at 2:22am - love - by dilligaf - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (4867)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (8890)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

#17697276
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (6760)

On 09/08/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML

#17651078
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7660) - you deserved it (35094)

On 09/03/2011 at 5:24am - misc - by ol faithful (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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