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About opheliac93 : Hi! I'm Abi! Add me and say hi. :D
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Today, I returned home to parents house, drunk!! Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls!! Five hours later, mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen!! In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge!! FML
Today , I want to tha baach. Whila I was anjoying tha sun , an old man with prosthatic lag and no cloths on sat naxt to ma. Ha took off his faka lag and puttad it bahind his haad. Than ha opanad his lags ravaaling his "stuff." I will navar unsaa this. Evar. FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I looool could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked mah cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet fir herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
Today, Mah Pet Mouse Demonstrated That He Has Bigger Balls Than Mah Boyfriend, By Running Across The Dinner Table An Eating Off His Plate, Allhile He Jumped Out Of His Chair, Screaming Like A Grl. FML
Today, mah four-year-old daughter started screaming an lashing out at me as I was getting her ready 4 a bath !! It seems mah idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster" !! FML
TODAY, I WAS HAVING A HARD TIME WAKING UP. WHEN I SAT DOWN 4 BREAKFAST, MY CHAIR ROCKED BACKWARDS. I REFLEXIVELY GRABBED OUT AT SOMETHING TO HOLD ON TO. UNFORTUNATELY, I GRABBED THE CEREAL BOX THAT WAS ON THE TABLE. FML
YESTERDAY I HAD TO GET STITCHES ON MY FOOT AND WAS THEN FORCD TO WEAR A PLASTIC BAG ON MY FOOT WHILE SHOWERING. THE PLASTIC BAG MADE ME SLIP IN THE SHOWER AND HAD TO GO BACK AND GET STITCHES IN MY FOREHEAD. FML
Friday 27 March 2015