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oomph

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oomph

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 689
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oomph : Don't hit on me faggots this isn't a dating networking site.

I just come on here to read FML posts when I'm super bored.

oomph's page activity

Visits<b>mccrightp</b> - yesterday at 4:38pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:54am<b>moron011</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:49pm<b>jaysinlove</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:08pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:13am<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:08am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:40am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:15pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:37am<b>jerryj</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:16am<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:06pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 9:27am<b>cactusprick</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 12:50am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:31pm<b>decimater</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 9:11pm<b>sorahearts</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 7:41pm

Fucked!<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:22am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:37am

oomph's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of oomph's badges

oomph's favorite FMLs

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23834) - you deserved it (6116)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML

#21452283
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27290) - you deserved it (2259)

On 08/05/2015 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by TheIVkindaruinsthemood (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

#21450074
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (2530)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28839) - you deserved it (2594)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

#21438785
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (1996)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm - misc - by ZiggyTink - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (4212)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

#21424976
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29776) - you deserved it (4836)

On 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by poor baby - Germany

Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

#21424633
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27552) - you deserved it (1944)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by what - United States (California)

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

#21413067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23451) - you deserved it (1715)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by farf -

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12880) - you deserved it (44032)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (2859)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38625) - you deserved it (4159)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32968) - you deserved it (15339)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

#21292603
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (3737)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:57am - health - by AAnonymous (man) - United States (Utah)



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