oomph

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oomph

32Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1437
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oomph : I'm not good at much, but I'm pretty sick at video games.
I just come on here to read FML posts and the comments that follow.
I love cats, I love every kind of cat. I just wanna hug all of them but I can't hug every cat.

oomph's page activity

Visits<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 6:43am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 6:23am<b>NerdyMusician</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 8:18pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 12/04/2016 at 6:07pm<b>NewYorkGuy69</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 10:10pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 8:29pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 5:11pm<b>paris_ava</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 7:57am<b>thunderniron</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 4:33am<b>backyardhulk</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 5:10pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 4:50pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 4:54pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 3:38pm<b>Sleepy1995</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 1:42pm<b>kintoki25</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 1:04pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 3:13pm<b>Lorex</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 1:10am<b>patwo8</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 1:47am

Fucked!<b>thunderniron</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 10:33am<b>backyardhulk</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 11:10pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 1:45am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 12:57am<b>trashyant</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 12:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 2:05am<b>OlRed</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:58pm<b>m1i2c3h4a5e6l7</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 10:15pm<b>X_Gon_Giv_ItToYa</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 4:34am<b>NoWayItsReal</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 9:11pm<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:55pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:45pm<b>delichick</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 10:06pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 10:33pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 6:15pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:22pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 7:10pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 8:41am

oomph's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of oomph's badges

oomph's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend admitted that the reason I got the nickname Axl is because I was an A cup with XL underwear. I guess I should be called Axxl now. FML

by Axlgrows / 12/02/2016 at 11:44am / Geek

Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves anal porn, he says gay sex is revolting. His reasoning? Because guys poop out of their buttholes. Apparently women don't. FML

by _kristaaxo / 11/21/2016 at 4:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML

by JoeyTheJedi / 10/17/2016 at 8:31pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML

by unluckysamaritan / 10/15/2016 at 4:51am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my panicking grandmother. I asked her what was going on, and she explained that, “Godzilla doesn’t work.” Not really understanding, I asked her to clarify. “Yes, you know, Godzilla, to use the internet.” FML

by Grandzilla / 09/09/2016 at 12:10am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Geek

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 4:38am / Intimacy

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 6:36am / Ukraine (Poltavs'ka Oblast') / Intimacy

Today, I got lost in Darkfall Passage in Skyrim and got so frustrated I turned off the game and cried. Thank you pregnancy hormones. FML

by SkyrimGamerMoM / 07/14/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, 5 months after doing a shoot for a stock photo site, someone finally used one of my photos. In an article about meth abuse. FML

by samaris / 07/08/2016 at 5:19pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because I look like his favorite hentai character. FML

by titmeister / 06/28/2016 at 12:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I lost my virginity. It was painful, but not as painful as my boyfriend asking afterwards: "Um... did you use to be a guy?" FML

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, we ran out of our disposal gloves at work. After saying how grossed out I was about having to touch raw chicken with my bare hands, my female boss goes, "Just imagine you're touching yourself. That's what I do." Even more grossed out now. FML

by RayniDae / 06/15/2016 at 4:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML

by Emmaraine189 / 04/27/2016 at 10:22pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals