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oomph

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oomph

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 662
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oomph : don't hit on me faggots this isn't a dating networking site.

I just come on here to read FML posts when I'm super bored.

I'm a gnarly bitch

oomph's page activity

Visits<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:22pm<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:08am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:40am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:15pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:37am<b>jerryj</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:16am<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:06pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 9:27am<b>cactusprick</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 12:50am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:31pm<b>decimater</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 9:11pm<b>sorahearts</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 7:41pm<b>MissQ</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:10am<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:20am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:00am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:41am

Fucked!<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:22am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:37am

oomph's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of oomph's badges

oomph's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (2375)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

#21438785
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24557) - you deserved it (1994)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm - misc - by ZiggyTink - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38222) - you deserved it (4196)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

#21424976
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29093) - you deserved it (4515)

On 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by poor baby - Germany

Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

#21424633
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (1766)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by what - United States (California)

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

#21413067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23426) - you deserved it (1714)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by farf -

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12678) - you deserved it (43424)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (2853)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35827) - you deserved it (3710)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29968) - you deserved it (13191)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

#21292603
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (3687)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:57am - health - by AAnonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41660) - you deserved it (3921)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML



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