only1440minutes

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only1440minutes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 October 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 979
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About only1440minutes : Just a sweet guy who enjoys reading FML moments.

b*tches be crazy!!

only1440minutes's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:19pm<b>mylifeisnotfair</b> - the 12/08/2009 at 10:18pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/06/2009 at 1:06am<b>baby_gurl2405</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 7:17am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 11/18/2009 at 3:26pm<b>jcrook</b> - the 11/10/2009 at 10:43pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/30/2009 at 7:35am<b>wellinever</b> - the 10/22/2009 at 10:04am<b>flinkpamingo</b> - the 10/17/2009 at 10:47pm<b>ha</b> - the 10/15/2009 at 4:01pm<b>nuclear</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 1:37am<b>Starchild21</b> - the 10/03/2009 at 11:53am

only1440minutes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

only1440minutes's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

by ppd_sucks / 12/29/2010 at 3:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 11:30am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

by carsuck / 11/11/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

by Abby / 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

by PiaNO / 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm / United States / Transportation

Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

by R / 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Work

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 1:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

by Anstice / 10/04/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

by mcdeez / 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML

by asdfas / 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

by sara / 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2009 at 5:41am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous