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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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onetwomikey

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onetwomikey
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 June 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 560
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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onetwomikey's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I've been dating texted me to say he joined an online dating site. He must have thought I was the best person to share this information with. FML

#6145417 (32)

I agree, your life sucks (18331) - you deserved it (1500)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

#6128327 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (3644)

On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML

#5835840 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (4237)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

#5758309 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (1641)

On 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

#5622961 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (10029)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

#5584861 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (6965) - you deserved it (24156)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (32687) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

#5525122 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (30974) - you deserved it (2157)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

#5522112 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (3331)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:41am - animals - by Heww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

#5519699 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (37403) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

#5515863 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (2026)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was my bachelor party. The only people that showed up were my best man and my father. FML

#5485912 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (30722) - you deserved it (2250)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:15pm - misc - by bachelor (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (26459) - you deserved it (2061)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

#5283267 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (4345)

On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (37166) - you deserved it (4365)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)