Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

onedayinamsterda

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

onedayinamsterda

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 944
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About onedayinamsterda : Quirky dude from the island of Singapore!

Enjoys good food, great muzik, fishing and making friends from all over !

onedayinamsterda's page activity

Visits<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:14am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:25am<b>nana_star</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 4:52pm<b>AZTEC_WARRIOR</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:31pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:12pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:41pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:37am<b>missa8604</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:32pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 11:43pm<b>24jfred</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:49am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm<b>captain_crook</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:47pm<b>WhatTheHeckman8</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:51pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:00pm<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:14am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 11:41am<b>metalscales</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 4:30pm<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:55am

Fucked!<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:12pm

onedayinamsterda's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of onedayinamsterda's badges

onedayinamsterda's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51289) - you deserved it (5872)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44208) - you deserved it (4990)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49039) - you deserved it (6196)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

#19527572
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26817) - you deserved it (2152)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm - misc - by :| (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares" as he walked away chuckling. FML

#18400111
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (4076)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16301) - you deserved it (55667)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33215) - you deserved it (15930)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (7579)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

#16189610
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40142) - you deserved it (13948)

On 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm - love - by DMitch (man) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: