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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend informed me that she is still in love with the guy she cheated on me with. She admitted that she would be willing to do anything with him if he wanted to. And, "He's a better kisser too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23090) - you deserved it (3400)
On 10/02/2010 at 12:22am - love - by laterchoice (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (5910)
On 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm - love - by Cheese4men - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23189) - you deserved it (3917)
On 04/06/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by BluBaller (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (4663)
On 03/20/2010 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by drew_ar85 (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (3089)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (3393)
On 01/22/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18331) - you deserved it (3719)
On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Alicia (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got dumped. In a note. That my boyfriend gave to my sister. After he slept with her. In my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24730) - you deserved it (1611)
On 01/20/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by dumped (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line "There we go, that's your freebie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6357) - you deserved it (10032)
On 01/17/2010 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by misshb (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (8522)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17513) - you deserved it (1379)
On 12/17/2009 at 10:35am - intimacy - by turriblebday (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21715) - you deserved it (3227)
On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States
Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35058) - you deserved it (4418)
On 11/23/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by OnlyIfYouLoveMe (woman) - United States
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58288) - you deserved it (27552)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (123908) - you deserved it (22671)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
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