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Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65897) - you deserved it (163140)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13504) - you deserved it (164242)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22606) - you deserved it (187359)
On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8241) - you deserved it (156284)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17815) - you deserved it (192712)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9536) - you deserved it (167668)
On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (198397) - you deserved it (38552)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14117) - you deserved it (170011)
On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to the sandcastle contest at my local beach. While waiting in line for my hotdog, a man cut in front of me and demanded a cup of water. I called him a jack ass and was saying how people like him give us a bad reputation on the beach. I then see him running to his choking daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8786) - you deserved it (60883)
On 04/19/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by howembarrasing (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (228839)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92893) - you deserved it (13507)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66171) - you deserved it (179721)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12164) - you deserved it (188230)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States
Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10441) - you deserved it (165709)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (142354)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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