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Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (2627)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13778) - you deserved it (163184)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37357) - you deserved it (2928)
On 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Cinnamon (man) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)
Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28343) - you deserved it (2020)
On 01/09/2011 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8131) - you deserved it (21126)
On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10131) - you deserved it (16731)
On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (1536)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7260) - you deserved it (36874)
On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33050) - you deserved it (3563)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12199) - you deserved it (199225)
On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15311) - you deserved it (27788)
On 08/12/2009 at 3:02pm - misc - by signupsheetfail (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on an airplane back from California. I decided to check out my new $1500 MacBook that I bought the day before. My son decided to projectile vomit all over me, my new computer, and my bag. None of it got on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32816) - you deserved it (4729)
On 08/08/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by New computer - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I have had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45225) - you deserved it (2243)
On 07/22/2009 at 8:17am - work - by babysitter93 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14846) - you deserved it (176701)
On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21494) - you deserved it (214211)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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