About ollie179 : Hey there. You're most likely here because you:
1) Thought my profile picture of a pig was cute because you like bacon. Instead the pig is just a scam for me to lure you here and sell you timeshares. HAHA! Uhhh...ignore that...
2) You accidentally clicked on me instead of Perdix or DocBastard. Curse them both, they must get all the women...they must pay! Uhhh...ignore that...
3) You're a stalker. If you are a stalker I must warn you...I will find you, and I will kill you. Uhhh...ignore that...
4) You just wanna be friends! Yay! If that's the case come round my house at 1am and knock 5 times at the door. Then I'll tie you up and keep you in my basement and we'll be friends forever! Uhhh...ignore that...
5)If you don't apply to any of these things then obviously your not worth my time. Begone peasant!
If anyone does get brutally murdered then I'd just like to say that I've always thought Noor had a shifty eye...just saying...
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15756) - you deserved it (2216)
On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States
Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15756) - you deserved it (2216)
On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States
Today, I learned that it takes about half an hour to get melted cheese out of your hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14625) - you deserved it (4703)
On 10/10/2011 at 11:34pm - health - by jzappe - United States (California)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20400) - you deserved it (4383)
On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)
Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (1903)
On 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by octoberrain - United States (Ohio)
Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39197) - you deserved it (2507)
On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my Dad's banjo arrived, as part of his mid-life crisis. It would be fine if he could play it but unfortunately he's tone deaf. He hasn't stopped playing it for the last 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17700) - you deserved it (1614)
On 10/07/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (2761)
On 10/07/2011 at 10:58am - work - by Dr.Octopus454 (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16653) - you deserved it (2083)
On 10/06/2011 at 11:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25378) - you deserved it (2573)
On 10/06/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by stacyyvonne - United States (Florida)
Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8378) - you deserved it (26133)
On 10/06/2011 at 8:40pm - misc - by knzknz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (1254)
On 10/06/2011 at 6:28pm - work - by hazlanz216 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I learned that my mother might not live much longer. My boyfriend, instead of showing compassion asked me, "We're still having video chat sex, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (3009)
On 10/05/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Forever sad (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23099) - you deserved it (1979)
On 10/04/2011 at 8:14pm - love - by Nickolas Neffster - United States (Tennessee)
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29614) - you deserved it (8309)
On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
