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About ollie179 : Hey there. You're most likely here because you:
1) Thought my profile picture of a pig was cute because you like bacon. Instead the pig is just a scam for me to lure you here and sell you timeshares. HAHA! Uhhh...ignore that...
2) You accidentally clicked on me instead of Perdix or DocBastard. Curse them both, they must get all the women...they must pay! Uhhh...ignore that...
3) You're a stalker. If you are a stalker I must warn you...I will find you, and I will kill you. Uhhh...ignore that...
4) You just wanna be friends! Yay! If that's the case come round my house at 1am and knock 5 times at the door. Then I'll tie you up and keep you in my basement and we'll be friends forever! Uhhh...ignore that...
5)If you don't apply to any of these things then obviously your not worth my time. Begone peasant!
If anyone does get brutally murdered then I'd just like to say that I've always thought Noor had a shifty eye...just saying...
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML
Friday 6 December 2013