Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

old09

Offline (24 hours ago) | Search for a member

old09

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 September 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1718
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About old09 : Valve biatch
:P



old09's page activity

Visits<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:34pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:47am<b>LittleTrees</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:51pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 2:24am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 8:57pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:23am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 3:55am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Maureenek23</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 2:08pm<b>NotsowiseSAGe</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:33am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 5:01am<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:48pm<b>DubCantStep</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 1:04am<b>kyleryo</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 4:50pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 12:36am<b>ZoeMoe17</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 11:44am<b>Justmeedotcom77</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:48pm<b>il0v3w33d</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 2:42pm

old09's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of old09's badges

old09's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML

#16245376
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52496) - you deserved it (3723)

On 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML

#16237606
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by Charles (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML

#16235775
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10215) - you deserved it (41764)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:08am - work - by Red-cheeked -

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (9679)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML

#16234308
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (8475)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37083) - you deserved it (10095)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

#16189610
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37231) - you deserved it (13332)

On 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm - love - by DMitch (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

#16188674
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35459) - you deserved it (6624) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm - misc - by bouda - France (Centre)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49358) - you deserved it (5848)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49358) - you deserved it (5848)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML

#15189592
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (56173)

On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37339) - you deserved it (3484)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73807) - you deserved it (5820)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

#5911191
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (6560)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: