About old09 : Valve biatch
:P
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46090) - you deserved it (2807)
On 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34196) - you deserved it (3168)
On 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by Charles (man) - Norway (Akershus)
Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8781) - you deserved it (36799)
On 05/18/2011 at 9:08am - work - by Red-cheeked -
Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (9093)
On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22087) - you deserved it (7887)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32145) - you deserved it (9443)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31927) - you deserved it (10259)
On 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm - love - by DMitch (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31104) - you deserved it (6021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42646) - you deserved it (4559)
On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42646) - you deserved it (4559)
On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5372) - you deserved it (43663)
On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (3045)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63266) - you deserved it (4428)
On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States
Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29051) - you deserved it (5136)
On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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