old09

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Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 9:58am)

old09

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 September 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2901
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About old09 : Valve biatch
:P



old09's page activity

Visits<b>Distinct_Drift</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 2:30pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:38pm<b>mathen</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:19am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:34pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:47am<b>LittleTrees</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:51pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 2:24am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 8:57pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:23am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 3:55am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Maureenek23</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 2:08pm<b>NotsowiseSAGe</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:33am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 5:01am<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:48pm<b>DubCantStep</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 1:04am<b>kyleryo</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 4:50pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:38pm

old09's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of old09's badges

old09's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML

by FeedMe / 05/27/2011 at 6:45am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

by fatteningmeup / 05/26/2011 at 10:24am / United States / Health

Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML

by lovingpsychosis / 05/26/2011 at 3:53am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love

Today, after having just cleaned my office at work, I sat at my desk and opened a can of Diet Coke, which then exploded all over my desk, keyboard, and everything else in its path. FML

by Seriously / 05/24/2011 at 1:46pm / United States / Work

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

by BurnedByAWaiter / 05/24/2011 at 9:59am / Miscellaneous

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

by dumbteacher / 05/23/2011 at 10:35am / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML

by Bad Parent / 05/23/2011 at 7:58am / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

by severedface / 05/22/2011 at 1:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

by aridaley / 05/21/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

by ewwgross / 05/20/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I tore up my airborne academy admission documents because my lab results weren't good enough. A few hours later, they called me to apologize for the misunderstanding, mine turned out to be perfect and they'd accepted me. They need me tomorrow with all the documents to finalize the admission. FML

by SkyDiver / 05/20/2011 at 3:46am / Work

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

by esoog / 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation