old09

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 9:58am)

old09

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 September 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3065
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About old09 : Valve biatch
:P



old09's page activity

Visits<b>Distinct_Drift</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 2:30pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:38pm<b>mathen</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:19am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:34pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:47am<b>LittleTrees</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:51pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 2:24am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 8:57pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:23am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 3:55am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Maureenek23</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 2:08pm<b>NotsowiseSAGe</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:33am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 5:01am<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:48pm<b>DubCantStep</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 1:04am<b>kyleryo</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 4:50pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:38pm

old09's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of old09's badges

old09's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep while watching an action movie. My newly installed surround sound system scared me so bad that I fell off the couch and smashed my face on our coffee table. FML

by nataliepaige / 07/19/2011 at 12:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

by xBubbles38 / 07/18/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Kids

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

by UhOh / 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

by jen / 07/08/2011 at 10:57am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML

by AgentFreshers / 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML

by Jenna / 06/29/2011 at 8:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

by Drunken Sailor / 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

by anonymous / 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

by MegaBear / 06/15/2011 at 1:46am / United States / Work