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Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 9:58am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3376
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About old09 : Valve biatch

old09's page activity

Visits<b>Distinct_Drift</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 2:30pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:38pm<b>mathen</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:19am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:34pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:47am<b>LittleTrees</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:51pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 2:24am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 8:57pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:23am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 3:55am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Maureenek23</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 2:08pm<b>NotsowiseSAGe</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:33am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 5:01am<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:48pm<b>DubCantStep</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 1:04am<b>kyleryo</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 4:50pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:38pm

old09's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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old09's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

by Savannah / 08/01/2011 at 5:20pm / United States (Alaska) / Money

Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML

by brebre101 / 07/31/2011 at 5:05am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

by The Joker? / 07/31/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

by 99520 / 07/28/2011 at 11:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML

by ladytyy / 07/27/2011 at 7:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

by j / 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

by youjustsuck / 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

by freakfreak12345 / 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Maine) / Animals

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work