Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ohnoburrito

Search for a member

ohnoburrito

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 October 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ohnoburrito's page activity

Visits<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 10:42pm<b>TheSickMinded</b> - the 04/21/2012 at 8:42am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 01/16/2012 at 10:09pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 01/03/2012 at 4:26am

ohnoburrito's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of ohnoburrito's badges

ohnoburrito's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171491) - you deserved it (30231)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

#366764
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (387811) - you deserved it (89267)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (210749) - you deserved it (35085)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140106) - you deserved it (15707)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (233323) - you deserved it (14754)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML

#232729
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164250) - you deserved it (10282)

On 03/07/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by Pissed Off (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (470559) - you deserved it (45705)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (470559) - you deserved it (45705)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (470559) - you deserved it (45705)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (470559) - you deserved it (45705)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (153862) - you deserved it (13818)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1136036) - you deserved it (114908)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: