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ohnoburrito

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ohnoburrito

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 590
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ohnoburrito's page activity

Visits<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 10:42pm<b>TheSickMinded</b> - the 04/21/2012 at 8:42am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 01/16/2012 at 10:09pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 01/03/2012 at 4:26am

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ohnoburrito's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (158956) - you deserved it (24022)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (485687) - you deserved it (29335)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees and her cruise ship fee. FML

#976819
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185749) - you deserved it (12761)

On 04/14/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (712822) - you deserved it (56230)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148480) - you deserved it (21668)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166763) - you deserved it (8481)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

#849768
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168438) - you deserved it (9219)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
930 comments

I agree, your life sucks (355193) - you deserved it (38854)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (180523) - you deserved it (12261)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML

#703894
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (189743) - you deserved it (31228)

On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (200747) - you deserved it (31610)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

#530298
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (229059) - you deserved it (15073)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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