ohnoburrito

Search for a member

ohnoburrito

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 836
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

ohnoburrito's page activity

Visits<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 10:42pm<b>TheSickMinded</b> - the 04/21/2012 at 8:42am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 01/16/2012 at 10:09pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 01/03/2012 at 4:26am

ohnoburrito's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of ohnoburrito's badges

ohnoburrito's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

by Sick / 05/02/2009 at 12:56am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees and her cruise ship fee. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 6:52pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

by hannah / 04/14/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

by hedgehog5 / 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

by Powerfool / 04/07/2009 at 6:07am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

by warp_routine / 03/31/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Vermont) / Health

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML

by jdsksoapy / 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love