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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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ohhoho
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 661
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ohhoho's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684 (519)

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (35747)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963 (456)

I agree, your life sucks (16772) - you deserved it (994)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (5766)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (24392) - you deserved it (2968)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (2471)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (13018) - you deserved it (28889)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

#13064737 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (14676) - you deserved it (8198)

On 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

#12463713 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (12048) - you deserved it (28795)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

#11875155 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (11265) - you deserved it (16349)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:47pm - misc - by rofld (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it snowed in South Carolina for the first time in 10 years. It snowed eight whole inches! I was so excited, I yelled for my kids and ran outside to build a snowman. I ran out to the steps and slipped on ice. I woke up in the hospital with a bad concussion. The snow had all melted. FML

#8210549 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (21384) - you deserved it (3604)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:11pm - kids - by owwie - United States

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

#7603599 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (2710)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

#1923265 (397)

I agree, your life sucks (86778) - you deserved it (7138)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (832)

I agree, your life sucks (32056) - you deserved it (381720)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104 (986)

I agree, your life sucks (48719) - you deserved it (274138)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory. After I'd finished, the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for two minutes. FML

#11959 (34)

I agree, your life sucks (9555) - you deserved it (20176)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:50pm - misc - by yerbuagalapagos wonder (woman) - Ecuador (Galapagos)