ohheyyitsnaomi

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ohheyyitsnaomi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1703
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ohheyyitsnaomi : www.ohheyyitsnaomi.tumblr.com

ohheyyitsnaomi's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:10am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:03am<b>MrBrightside21</b> - the 07/14/2012 at 6:58pm

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50 favourites

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ohheyyitsnaomi's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

by Burnt / 05/02/2011 at 5:33am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

by Damian / 04/22/2011 at 7:11am / Intimacy

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love

Today, a kid grabbed the receiver to my cochlear implant and ran off with it. I went to a security guard, and, if my lip reading was accurate, he said to "try and make it through the day without it". Without it, I can't hear anything. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2010 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

by fme / 12/08/2010 at 9:34am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:36am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

by Oriianna Raiinbow / 10/23/2010 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was feeling very ill after a severe anxiety attack. I asked my boyfriend to hold my hand until I fell asleep. He said he couldn't because he needed both hands to play on his gameboy. FML

by vikingunicorn / 05/23/2010 at 1:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

by pumpkinlover89 / 03/27/2010 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 5:57am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

by Celeste / 03/02/2010 at 4:14am / Singapore / Transportation

Today, for my boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

by Nosexytime / 01/14/2010 at 10:56am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

by PoorGramps / 12/09/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML

by HellaBomber91 / 12/05/2009 at 2:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love