i am opinionated and outspoken. ya gotta love me.
talktomefromfml@aim.mail
;]
im chill
& im a girl.
i wana get up to a million views?
kpeace
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21021) - you totally deserved it (54608)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9850) - you totally deserved it (29965)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50916) - you totally deserved it (9883)
On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43744) - you totally deserved it (6004)
On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discretely push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49068) - you totally deserved it (6631)
On 04/02/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by darlingditz (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (95918) - you totally deserved it (22418)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17460) - you totally deserved it (47301)
On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of only two weeks. As we were dancing, another woman grabbed my ass from behind me and squeezed. I yelped and turned around to see my mother as the culprit. My girlfriend punched her. I found out my mother is a Cougar and my girl has a mean right hook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (133967) - you totally deserved it (7238)
On 03/23/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by VinnyGoombots (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47508) - you totally deserved it (6561)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Ltl_Dust_Bunny (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46735) - you totally deserved it (18113)
On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61679) - you totally deserved it (10013)
On 03/17/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by SmileEveryday (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21754) - you totally deserved it (55476)
On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29008) - you totally deserved it (7016)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)
[ Page : 1 ]
« Previous page | Next page »
