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About ohaiicourtney : Im a jerk
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yesterday after teaching mah 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML
Today, I got wisdom teeth pulld. My usually detachd and unromantic boyfriend rushd right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admittd excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wantd to test the theory. FML
Today, Mah Boyfriend Was Buying A New Hockey Stick; To Test It Out He Startd Hitting A Ball Around The Aisle And Decidd To Shoot It Back Into Its Bin!! Instead The Ball Hit Me Dead In The Mouth, Giving Me A Fat Lip!! Instead Of Consoling Me, Mah Boyfriend Yelld ( GOAL! ) FML
yesterday after my 22 year old son realizd that there was no more contact solution.. . he decidd to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushd out . I raisd this moron . FML
Today, In An Attempt To Impress A Girl I Like, I Trid To Crush A Soda Can By Hitting It With Mah Forehead !! Not Only Did I Fail, I Knockd Myself Out In The Process !! When I Regaind Consciousness, The Girl Was Gone And Someone Had Taken The Liberty Of Drawing A Penis On Mah Face !! FML
today I took a busy train into te city. I was lucky enoug to get a seat. People were forced to stand in te aisle in front of me, an te person directly opposite me, wose butt was level wit ead farted in face. Twice. FML
Today, I went to ma son's ig scool play. Te moment I arrived at te auditorium, I souted out is name to let im know I made it. Tinking I was a student, a teacer yelled, ( SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN! ) Scared out of ma mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from te kids. FML
Friday 27 March 2015