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officeradvil

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 December 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2021
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About officeradvil : I like computers, gaming, driving, baseball, and many other things that I can't currently think of.

I'm an admin on a minecraft server called KrypleKraft. (if you play minecraft come onto the server and let me know you're from FML)

Uh, I also like knives, guns, survival, smoking pipes and cigars, snowboarding and much more that can be seen on my YouTube channel CutlassKnives.

Yes, it is cold in Canada.

officeradvil's page activity

Visits<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 4:40pm<b>Chokker</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 7:51pm<b>swick25</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 1:30pm<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 4:26pm<b>oj101</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 8:07am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/19/2011 at 12:52am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/01/2011 at 5:08pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:03pm<b>WtfLoser</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 1:41pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 08/23/2011 at 12:23am<b>FrecklesXO</b> - the 08/21/2011 at 12:23pm<b>xtraordinary</b> - the 08/21/2011 at 10:12am<b>humorizer</b> - the 08/14/2011 at 12:54am<b>Cenobyte</b> - the 06/15/2011 at 3:50am<b>monkeyCanDoMYJob</b> - the 04/27/2011 at 9:42pm<b>Iloreanes</b> - the 04/27/2011 at 6:03pm<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 3:15pm<b>amerwin</b> - the 11/17/2010 at 6:18pm

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officeradvil's favorite FMLs

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

by hakuna matata / 10/31/2012 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

by idontbleedfromthere / 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

by Just Me / 07/26/2012 at 1:04am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML

by Jonas / 06/06/2012 at 1:00am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

by slayerdeath / 05/20/2012 at 1:19am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm / Intimacy

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

by ab / 10/09/2011 at 1:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health