About officeradvil : I like computers, gaming, driving, baseball, and many other things that I can't currently think of.
I'm an admin on a minecraft server called KrypleKraft. (if you play minecraft come onto the server and let me know you're from FML)
Uh, I also like knives, guns, survival, smoking pipes and cigars, snowboarding and much more that can be seen on my YouTube channel CutlassKnives.
Yes, it is cold in Canada.
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Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25560) - you deserved it (1535)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18074) - you deserved it (2102)
On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)
Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13134) - you deserved it (1099)
On 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by idontbleedfromthere (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (2362)
On 07/26/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Just Me (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13085) - you deserved it (2452)
On 06/06/2012 at 1:00am - work - by Jonas - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17858) - you deserved it (1469)
On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5087) - you deserved it (54892)
On 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14785) - you deserved it (57435)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18346) - you deserved it (18310)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9263) - you deserved it (42474)
On 10/27/2011 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (6047)
On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35486) - you deserved it (7641)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23820) - you deserved it (1557)
On 10/09/2011 at 1:11am - work - by ab (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40223) - you deserved it (3157)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
I agree, your life sucks (9374) - you deserved it (21409)
On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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