About obviously_damned : Young, fun, and very Unlucky.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6188) - you deserved it (40011)
On 08/01/2009 at 8:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11445) - you deserved it (57988)
On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39125) - you deserved it (3061)
On 07/31/2009 at 5:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13230) - you deserved it (35862)
On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (2265)
On 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by pleaseno (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (2265)
On 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by pleaseno (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69144) - you deserved it (2808)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9396) - you deserved it (45679)
On 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by AlexK (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (2754)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21549) - you deserved it (34979)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13906) - you deserved it (44696)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (51750)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46047) - you deserved it (1207)
On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46279) - you deserved it (7883)
On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (381267) - you deserved it (21584)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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