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obviously_damned

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obviously_damned
  • Town/Country : Surrey, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 June 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 1091
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About obviously_damned : Young, fun, and very Unlucky.

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obviously_damned's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML

#4673075
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57164) - you deserved it (9862)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by shitforchris (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

#4652929
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8127) - you deserved it (51096)

On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52057) - you deserved it (4679)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50802) - you deserved it (4213)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54839) - you deserved it (10826)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41527) - you deserved it (14827)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

#4585306
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38095) - you deserved it (4964)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by missingcharlie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

#4570471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42347) - you deserved it (7086)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34425) - you deserved it (5421)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy-friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

#4453766
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44550) - you deserved it (7440)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:13pm - love - by denied (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44766) - you deserved it (20352)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML

#4442846
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13451) - you deserved it (40396)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Amanda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44710) - you deserved it (6832)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

#4425556
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11156) - you deserved it (48646)

On 08/10/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by klutz (woman) - United States (Texas)



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