About obviously_damned : Young, fun, and very Unlucky.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52605) - you deserved it (8123)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by shitforchris (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7060) - you deserved it (40869)
On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47127) - you deserved it (3628)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49856) - you deserved it (4178)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50632) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37223) - you deserved it (11452)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9644) - you deserved it (57185)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (3954)
On 08/16/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by missingcharlie (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (5961)
On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32892) - you deserved it (707)
On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy-friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42575) - you deserved it (6249)
On 08/11/2009 at 4:13pm - love - by denied (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, There was a fire in my building and the fire alarm went off when I was in the shower, I live on the 5th floor and had to run down the stairs naked because the fire was next door. When I got downstairs I got a $500 ticket for public nudity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40337) - you deserved it (7601)
On 08/11/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by BulgaBoi21 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (16100)
On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11075) - you deserved it (31640)
On 08/11/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Amanda (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (5717)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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